It's said that in order to grow as a person, you must first be willing to grow. I disagree. I was quite against the idea of change, yet it still happened. I have grown, sometimes against my will, to become someone greater than the person I was yesterday, or even last month. Right now, I'm reading a book titled What Happened to Lani Garver and as of now, being half way through the book, I must confess that it has hit my top five favorites. It's the kind of book that makes you ponder deep into the words of the page, swimming in controversial themes such as eating disorders, teen homelessness, homosexuality... For at least the next twenty four hours (if I can make it last that long!) this book will be a haven to me, an intriguing escape from the newness here in Jersey; something that stretches, grows and challenges the wanderings of my soul.
As a shout out to some incredibly sweet people at church, I have officially acquired ten or so trash bags full of raw wool. Though slightly tempted to drift towards this option instead of attending school, I have resisted the perpetual desires to card, spin, ply and knit the plethora of sheep's wool. With Winter (or atleast the hoped end of this Indian Summer) coming soon, out come the bags of wool, hand-spun yarns and crochet hooks. Oh, how I truly love the joyous frigidity of Fall and Winter- forcing families together (for better or worse) to stay inside for months, bringing the commencement of puzzles, fireplaces and snowmen.
On a different note, a girl from my old school was in a severe car accident this week and died just hours after the crash. As the school mourns the loss of such an amazing girl, I pray that God would comfort everyone- for a death of a student never affects just the closest of friends. Her death is like that of a rock thrown into a pond, sending ripples across the surface and into the depths of the thousands who knew her. Just months ago, my previous high school lost another student, a senior, and I know that many are still in mourning of his sudden, unsuspected death.. Gabby Vogel, a five year old girl also from my old town, died two weeks ago after battling brain cancer for only a few short months. I personally have no answer for why young people die. It's illogical, against the natural grain of death. It's not natural for kids to die first; parents shouldn't have to mourn the death of a child.
But as I'm learning (oftentimes in the less than easy path) God has a reason for even the hardest of circumstances, even the deaths and changes, struggles and turmoils we face. All we need is to trust that the pain of growing, of changing, will bring about a better person in the end.
